Make a sexual wish list
“When I start working with couples, my first advice is to set a date when you will only dedicate yourself to making a list of sexual desires. To make it easier, I recommend classifying them into three columns: green zone, yellow zone and zone The green one would be everything you’re dying to try, the yellow one would be things that are borderline and that you should talk about, and the red one (red is a great safe word, by the way) is equivalent to ‘ not even of joke’.
Once the couple sees what options they have, they can begin a serious dialogue about consent and experimentation Seattle BDSM. But don’t be surprised if one day the red zone turns green!” ― Hudsy Hawn, professional dominatrix, BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) educator and couples advisor.
Take orgasms out of the equation
“Try to spend intimate time together without ending in orgasm. Flirt, get in the mood, talk dirty, stimulate each other’s genitals if you want or avoid it altogether. Play with sexual arousal, get horny together, but no orgasms. Afterwards, Talk about what you liked and what you didn’t like. You might learn something new about yourself.
To a large extent, our sex life is determined by the drive to reach orgasm. Much of BDSM is based on what happens when you stop making orgasms the sole or primary goal of sex. It consists of experimenting and testing the mental limits of arousal and bodily response. When you intentionally eliminate orgasm from your goals, you force yourself to expand your conception of what a sexual relationship is and begin to explore unknown territories.” ― Mistress Iris , professional dominatrix.
Talk about sex in and out of the bedroom
“Communication is one of the most important aspects for me. It fosters trust and a feeling of security, which is essential in any relationship. I find it very erotic to be able to talk about my desires, needs and limits, and even more erotic to know “These things about my partner. When you’re in the bedroom with your partner, break the ice by asking some basic questions or even proposing a sexual game of any kind.” ― Mistress Velvet, professional dominatrix.
Explore your fantasies
“When you are able to consciously and consensually participate in your fantasies, your bond becomes stronger. It is important not to shame your partner for having a fantasy, even if it is something you do not want to participate in. Sometimes, just talking about the things is enough. fantasies and not carry them out. If you decide to go ahead and fulfill a fantasy, be very clear about what specifically turns you on, how you would like it to play out, and what you may need next. If it doesn’t turn out exactly as you wanted or expected, deal with it. topic as a couple, but, in general, exploring fantasies with your partner usually leads to fiery encounters that strengthen your connection. I always recommend that beginners fill out this form [in English] to start the conversation.” ― Mistress Justine Cross , professional dominatrix, dungeon owner and BDSM consultant.
Enjoy both the dominant and submissive roles
“It may be that you or your partner find the idea of being dominant or submissive attractive and want to start trying it together. You may have an idea in your head of what that role is supposed to be like or you’ve started to educate yourself online. It’s good Do some research and see what other people are doing, both for safety reasons and to get ideas, but this can also be treacherous. Try not to get stuck in the descriptions you read. Just like with sex, it’s not always It shouldn’t be like porn, nor should BDSM sex always be like S&M porn. At the end of the day, you’re not doing it for the world to see, it’s just about what makes you and your partner feel good and what makes you happy. turn on. You may like to be in control in a naughty way but you don’t feel quite comfortable in the role of a harsh or aggressive dominant. You may be a submissive person but you like to react aggressively. You may like to be changeable (dominate and being submissive.) Think carefully about what turns you on and don’t stick too closely to what you think you need to do to fit the role. ― Mistress Iris.
Try a remote control vibrator
“Use sex toys to add some kinkiness to your next date or visit to your favorite bar. A remote-controlled vibrator placed on your private parts can be a great way to grab the attention of your partner across the room or from the table. Enjoy watching your partner try to order martinis while noticing those vibrations that you are controlling from a distance. It can be embarrassing and challenging, but it’s so funny to watch…” ― Mistress Georgia Payne , professional dominatrix and co-author of ‘How to Be a Dominant Diva’.
Have sex with your eyes
“Find the courage to maintain eye contact. Nothing is as exposing as staring and seeing what’s going to happen next. You’d be surprised how intimate your bond becomes simply by allowing yourselves to be vulnerable. Controlling your partner by holding them Hair styling is much more effective when you look into each other’s eyes and do it slowly, well and carefully. The more considerate and attentive you are with each other, the better the shared experience will be. Take some time to explore your body through the touch and eye contact. Sometimes the best sex doesn’t include the sexual organs at all. Give it with your eyes and your mind!